Musings from the Peanut Gallery

Family Dog New Life Shelter in SE Portland Rocks!

2006-05-23T13:22:00.000-07:00

This is our new dog, Lila. Revel in her absolute cuteness. I am fully aware that cuteness is not a word, but there is just no other term to describe her. By the way, I will totally be one of those annoying dog owners who talk to and about their pet as if she were human. Deal with it.

As a plug, she came from Family Dogs New Life Shelter in SE Portland, which is a fantastic organization, and, if you are in Portland looking for a dog, you should check it out!

Was This Guy Serious?

2006-05-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

I just got asked by a homeless man in Pioneer Square if he could have my debit card. Does anyone else find this somewhat amusing? I have become accustomed to aggressive panhandling, and have even, on occasion, given some spare change, but this guy was over the top. At first I assumed that he was one of Portland's more "eccentric" panhandlers who I normally step by with a, "No. Sorry," sort of response, but the more I think about it, I am pretty sure he just thought I was an idiot. Here's what went down.

The man stepped in front of me by the Max stop and said, "Can I use your debit card?" I continued walking and gave my above-mentioned standard response to an odd request, but this guy would have none of it. He continued walking behind me until I had to stop at the corner of the street to wait for the light. Stopped there he said, "Look. I know you have one, and you could just let me borrow it to go to the ATM to get some cash. You could even tell me your PIN number so you don't have to wait."

At that point, I started to wonder if I was being mugged on a street corner in broad daylight with about three thousand other people standing around, but due to a dose of naiveté (or stupidity) I said, "Do I look as stupid as you are giving me credit for being? And, by the way, PIN stands for personal identification number, so if you are going to try to find someone who IS this stupid, there is no need to be quite so redundant."

Attempted Muggers: 0; Me: 1.

Did You Know Myriad Means 10,000?

2006-05-16T18:16:00.000-07:00

I have been on a blogging hiatus of late, dealing with issues related to workplace idiocy, and a move across town. I am back now, though I hesitate to say that I am back with a vengeance. Hiatus: over.

I was perusing the ballot returns for the Oregon primary election that is currently taking place, and I have to say that I was shocked! As of Monday, 16 May 2006, Multnomah County had 23% return and Clackamas County had 21% return. You don't have to take my word for it; it's true.

Now, I could write an entire polemic on the problem of Oregon's mail in ballot system (takes away the "excitement" of heading to the polls; allows too much room for "forgetting to mail in your ballot, etc.), but, despite the systemic issues, I have to ask: What the hell is the problem with liberal Oregonians?

We complain incessantly about the status quo and can organize a march, rally, or protest at the proverbial drop of a hat, but when the time comes to effect change, we cannot be bothered to put our ballot in the mailbox. Soon, we will see the election results and see if this poor turnout affected the results, and we will see which of the gubernatorial candidates will face the Republican (Saxton - let's all be realistic) in November.

Oh, and if you have any ideas on how to convince my boss's mother to NOT vote for Westlund because he is good on the environment, I am open to suggestions.

Stupid Question of the Day.

2006-05-03T15:34:00.000-07:00

What about my personality draws stupid people to ask me stupid questions, particularly when they know that I will probably answer with some sort of sarcastic retort which, since they are stupid, they probably will not understand? Seriously, I must be being punished by the universe. I relate the following conversation that I just had with one of my co-workers, verbatim:

Co-Worker: Is there a way to send an e-mail to more than one person at a time, without having to copy and paste the text into a new message each time?

[I interject, for the sake of clarity, that this is not a person who has lived in a cave for the last 10 years, nor has she just awoken from a coma. In fact, this person works with computers every day of her life, and, to my knowledge has sent hundreds of e-mails. At this point I wonder if every time she has sent an e-mail to multiple recipients she has sent individual messages…]

Me: [Sarcastically] No. They haven’t perfected that part of Outlook yet. You just have to send a bunch of identical e-mails. It can be pretty time consuming.

C-W: Oh.

[She then proceeds to print out a list of 15 e-mail addresses and to send 15 separate identical e-mails, one at a time.]

If I was more of an ass, I probably would have let her get through the whole list, but it was just too painful to watch this train wreck occur. After she had sent two or three, I said, “You know what? I just remembered that you can list multiple addresses in the To: field. That should save you some time.” She hasn’t spoken to me for the last two hours.

What have we learned today? Stupid people don’t like to be mocked, but sometimes it is worth making them feel a little badly about themselves, because then they stop asking you stupid questions.

Check Out VoteEquality.com

2006-05-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

Basic Rights Oregon has launched their Vote Equality website (o.k. they launched the site a while ago, but I just had a chance to really give it a once-over). Not only is it an attractive site, the content is phenominal. If you want a comprehensive analysis of the candidates in the upcoming elections as they stand on gay rights, this is the place to look (and you can be in a commercial). Check it out!

And You Thought Colbert Was Offensive?

2006-05-02T16:19:00.000-07:00

See, I promised you rants about work, and when I promise I deliver.

So, I work with a woman who is 30 and has a college education and who just said to me , "[TOY NAME]? Those are so gay!" Now, this not only offends me at a base level of humanity, but how stupid can you be? Personal revelation #1: I am in a relationship with a woman. Personal revelation #2 (for those who don't like to assume): I am a woman. This person (since I know we will be talking about her a fair amount, we will call her "B" from now on) knows this about me, and yet she can't make the connection between the use of the word "gay" to connote something bad, and my taking offense for her having done so.

Did I say something to her? You are damn right I did. What was her response? "Oh. I didn't mean it in a bad way."

I know that this is a fairly inane bit of tripe, but here I go trying to do my bit to educate the world, and instead I spent 20 minutes explaining to B why "gay" in that context is bad. We are talking about a grown woman here. An adult. Seriously. I kid you not.

The First, But Not the Last

2006-05-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

I didn’t start out with the intention of becoming a blogger (as is readily observable by the fact that I am starting a blog well after the craze began). Really, at this point it is unclear to me whether or not the blog is on the decline as a form of disseminating information, however this is a risk I am willing to take.

Where to being…I work in a law firm, and I feel that this will probably provide a good deal of material. Other than that, you can expect random political commentary, irate yet humorous diatribes, and just plain insanity.

Stick with me, my friends…we are in for a bumpy ride.